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How To Prepare For A Military Marriage

Going out with some girl-friends, you notice a group of guys wearing what seems to be camouflage uniform. One of them catches your eye and the two of you lock-gaze. He comes on over and you two hit it off. Fast forward a few years and you two are already married with two kids, and your husband is still on active duty in a land far away, leaving you with that constant fear that something might happen to him at the back of your mind. Of course, this can happen the other way round, too. You can’t choose who you fall in love with, it just happens, but being married to a military man or woman is no easy job. We’ve gathered up some stuff about military marriages that you may not know and should prepare for.

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Separation – being married to a soldier means that he’ll eventually get deployed to some other country, or a military base far away in order to serve our country. It’s just inevitable. You’ll miss them, because they might be gone for months or even years at a time, and when you get to see them it’ll only be for a few weeks. But while they’re gone, you can focus on other stuff, like your career. If you two already have kids then don’t worry, you’ll have your hands full.

Moving – when your loved one is on active duty, you should be prepared for the idea that you may need to move somewhere else because they are deployed to a different area. Well, we guess that beats only being able to seem them for a couple of days, doesn’t it?

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Duty first – normal couples put their marriage above all else, but that isn’t exactly the case with military marriages. If you’re married to a soldier, for them duty is above all else. They have to follow their orders whatever happens. This may put some strain on your marriage, so being a military wife, or husband, is not an easy job, and you may need to be patient.

Military couples aren’t more likely to cheat – what we meant was, if you’re married to a military man or you are a military man, it doesn’t mean that your partner is cheating on you while you’re deployed overseas. We don’t doubt that adultery still happens, but a common misconception is that a lot of military wives cheat on their husbands while they’re deployed overseas, but the statistics don’t support that at all.

It’s hard to plan events – before you can make plans, your husband or wife has to put in a request just to make sure that he won’t be put on duty during that specific day. And that isn’t really a sure thing either, because his request might not be approved. Military schedules are usually just a month in advance and are very hard to change. Not to mention that if your husband is deployed overseas, he’ll be missing plenty of birthdays and anniversaries.

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The fear – there will always be a fear at the back of your mind that something might happen to your loved one and that they may never come home. We know that they’re facing danger every single day, but the ones left at home are also having a very hard time. This fear is like a strong headache that never goes away, always lurking at the back of your head; even if you try to distract yourself, it’s always there. Just try to keep busy and positive, and they’ll be back in no-time to reassure you and remind you how much you love them.

The secrets – normal married couples usually tell each other what happened during the end of the day, but military couples don’t have that luxury. What we mean is that, your spouse may not be able to share stuff with you about they’re work due to confidentiality. Not only can it be frustrating for you, but it isn’t easy for them to be keeping secrets either, sometimes it’s very hard to be forces to hold everything inside.

The pride of a military spouse – being a married to a military man may be hard, with many difficulties and challenges along the road, but the pride you feel for your husband who is serving his country makes it a little easier. No matter how difficult it is, just hang in there. You can’t choose who you fall in love with, right?

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